LUXURY IN COMMUNITY

BY JORDAN ASPEN

“6 pillow choices.”

For some reason, that line caught my eye as I was scrolling social media winding down the workday one Friday in September so I tapped *See more…*. The story was from a woman whose writing I’d been reading for a decade and a half; she was writing about luxury.

She talked about Esther—but not the part of the story we usually focused on. She talked about the months of luxurious preparation Esther underwent before going before the king.

This post about pillows resonated with me so deeply, the moment I realized it wasn’t all theoretical, but an actual invitation to rise up like Esther, I was in. I didn’t care how much this retreat experience would cost, I knew I had to be there and we would find a way. Period.

I was the first one to buy a ticket to the ReWoven retreat and I’m glad I did—every seat but one sold out before the “early bird” period was over, and then that one sold too!

Between buying my ticket and arriving in Texas for the retreat, I doubted the wisdom of this trip repeatedly.

Do I really deserve this luxury?

What if I’m the odd one out in the room?

Will the women all know each other except me?

I was especially worried about that last one. Sure, I’d been reading the retreat hostess’ writing online for years, but I wasn’t a part of her world. Surely everyone else in the room would be her clients, women she already knew intimately. Maybe they would all know each other too—from group programs and being engaged in her community.

The one who doubts and is double-minded is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

If I had not bought that ticket immediately, and instead waited for funds, or some sign of confirmation, or time to think it through more thoroughly, I would have missed out.

The retreat was everything I expected and more. Life changing. It felt like walking through a portal into a new world, a world I was made to live in.

Then it came time to leave.

I was afraid this would be one of those summer-camp-romance, mountain-top experiences that feel great while you’re in them—before you come back down and have to return to real life—except that this time instead of walking into an amazing experience and then walking out, I walked through it and came out the other side.

I got to keep the change.

So many gifts opened to me when I said yes. Yes to receiving luxury. Yes to the whole community who made it possible, from the hostess and her team to my husband freeing me to go.

God often calls us like this, through desires. Too often I have refused, thinking I’m not worthy of the luxury. But he doesn’t make us worthy before the call. He makes us worthy once we answer yes.

Remembering this retreat reminds me to say yes again today.

PHOTO BY HOUSE OF MUSE