think on kindness

by DONDI VOIGT PERSYN

I’ve been watching something lately—something I’ve seen in girls as young as fourteen and women as old as fifty-four.

Exclusion.

It shows up quietly at first, in social circles, in Bible studies, in little invitations that never come. And though it might seem small to the ones who do it—or invisible to the ones who don’t notice—it is not small to the soul that longs to belong.

The effects linger. The ache of being left out at fourteen can live in the body at forty. The one who tries hardest to be included is often the one most easily used up, overlooked, or told outright, “You’re not welcome here.” Imagine being told that about a Bible study. Imagine being invited but afraid to attend one because of the way the influencers of the group rate your value.

At my age, I carry a different rhythm. I dance to my own beat. I know who I am, and I’m at peace with it. But not everyone is. Many women still ache for the embrace of a circle, still hope for a place to sit at the table. And it’s often those tender-hearted ones who are left standing at the edge. Those that yearn to be accepted and underneath the smile are extremely lonely, sad and scared.

You think this happens hypothetically? It’s happening right this minute, right under our noses. In schools, churches, mom groups.

Here is what I’ve learned: when I extend kindness, it magnifies. It grows and multiplies in ways I could never measure. That’s the way God made us. Exclusion, though, diminishes. It might feel powerful in the moment, but it shrinks the heart, and it will eventually show up in your life.

So maybe this is an invitation—not only to the girls learning these patterns young, but to grown women who have carried them forward.

An invitation to pause, to notice, to open a door instead of closing one.

To think on such things as hospitality, inclusion, love.

Because the kingdom of God is not built on closed doors and private text groups.

It’s built on open arms and a kind heart.

Think on such things as consideration, regard, warmth, connection. Think on what it would take for you to invite someone new to your party, a meeting or event. I think kindness takes courage-and maybe thats the root of the problem.